However, in my "former life" as a separated and then divorced person, I was advised to protect myself due to threats made by my former spouse. I carried this gun (a .22 semi-automatic pistol capable of firing 8 rounds). Yes, I had a concealed weapon permit issued by the Sheriff of Jackson County, Oregon. I took a couple of gun safety lessons from Jack and visited the firing range. My hands shook every time I held it and fired. The sheriff (who was a personal friend) told me that with this small caliber weapon I must fire every shot to stop someone from getting to me.
I hated carrying this gun in my purse. I hated everything about it. I really didn't believe that I could have ever fired it at a person, especially the father of my children. I hoped that if I ever had to pull it out of the holster, someone looking down the barrel of it would stop. But the sheriff assured me that a "perpetrator" bolstered by drugs and alcohol can think they are super human and keep coming even after I had fired a shot. Could I have done that? Luckily, I never had to find out.
But I DID carry for several years. I always wondered about what I would do if I ever was in a situation where someone was pointing a gun at someone else. Would I have the courage to even pull mine out? I was especially uncomfortable in the bank or any public place. You never know what might come your way. I figured by the time I pulled it out, took off the safety, put a round in the chamber and aimed, I'd be dead anyway.
I quit carrying when my ex-husband killed himself with one of his many guns. He had first aimed it at his wife. Luckily, she escaped. He then turned it on himself. Did you know that one-third of all gun deaths are suicides?
I had asked for help from his family for years but they didn't believe me. In fact, they were convinced by my ex that I was the nut case. (It cost me the friendship of my former sister-in-law, whom I loved dearly). I've always wondered if she re-evaluated after my ex's suicide. I reached out to mental health professionals but they told me there was nothing they could do although they suspected my ex husband and was a borderline manic depressive who used drugs and alcohol to self-medicate. I'll never know how many times he aimed a gun at my head while I was sleeping or contemplated shooting all of us in our beds. I'm fairly certain that he did these things.
Of course, if I had thought that my children had been the target, I would have not thought twice about using the gun! But that's the mother instinct kicking in.
I apologize here to my dear son and daughter-in-law for having to read this. But in light of recent events, I wanted and needed to speak out.
I can't imagine a teacher being able to carry a weapon or use it with any effectiveness. And obviously any pistol is no match for a military style assault weapon. Guns are not the answer. If I had it to do over again, I don't think I would have gotten a gun. But when you are under stress and forced by circumstance, you do things that aren't what you think of as "normal."
I have to think that if my ex hadn't had guns, he might be alive today, have sought professional help for his mental problems and not have hurt his children and family by his actions. Yes, guns really do kill people. If folks didn't have so many of them, this country would be a better place to live.
But you want to know what the strangest thing that has happened? Right now, in real time as I am writing this with shaking hands, I am realizing for the first time that I and my children ARE VICTIMS OF GUN VIOLENCE! It honestly never occurred to me before this!
Please support the President and Vice-President and all those who have lost someone to gun violence. There are no easy answers to this dilemma but we need to come up with some common sense ideas.
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